And everything you write is bad.
Yes, one of those days.
THE DAY
In his “Men are Pigs” routine, Tim Allen had this great riff about how his wife would bother him about a clogged disposal. It’s begins about 1:20 in if you’re interested. Take a peek; I’ll wait.
So that little nagging “disposal’s clogged” voice? It was on high whine, today, although what it says is something like, You suck. Everything you write is bad.
Now, I don’t know a single writer who doesn’t hits walls, have bad days, have a day when she’s not up to snuff, or doesn’t occasionally give in to the voice that invariably surfaces during the course of any book (for me, usually about a third of the way through). Today, I think it was a combination of having a major attack of pretty horrible heartburn that had me fairly uncomfortable all day–and so, secondarily, depressed because it’s very hard to concentrate when you feel like there’s a knife going through your chest to your back. I have no idea what triggered this today, but none of my usual strategies worked either. So that meant being in pain and struggling with trying to get something decent written.
Everything I wrote today was bad. I know I will be tearing it all up tomorrow. Which is truly disheartening because this feels never-ending, and I’m not even halfway through the (rebooted) book. Forty days since I trashed the whole damn thing and started over.
So, wrote bad stuff. Chewed Tums. Got depressed. Gymned, which made me feel only marginally better. Came back home and thought, No, don’t do it; don’t try writing one more bad word. Just let it go.
WRITING OUT LOUD
Dark Side of the Moon
Day 1: 4326 Day 11: 2500 Day 21: 1800 Day 31: 745
Day 2: 2085 Day 12: 500 Day 22: 0 Day 32: 0
Day 3: 3011 Day 13: 1000 Day 23: 2700 Day 33: 4000
Day 4: 2652. Day 14: 3700 Day 24: 3500 Day 34: 2800
Day 5: 3210 Day 15: 5630 Day 25: 1500 Day 35: 4500
Day 6: 3450 Day 16: 1060 Day 26: 0 Day 36: 4800
Day 7: 0 Day 17: 130 Day 27: 0 Day 37: 0
Day 8: 2756 Day 18: 0 Day 28: 380 Day 38: 450
Day 9: 4580 Day 19: 3000 Day 29: 390 Day 39: 1000
Day 10: 2670 Day 20: 2600 Day 30: 380 Day 40: 2500
Day 41: 2600 Day 51: 1000 Day 63: 4800 Day 73: 1500 (edit)
*Day 42: 830 Day 52: 1600 Day 64: 3300 Day 74: 250 (sick)
Day 43: 3600 Day 53: 2600 Day 65: 2500 Day 75: 3000 (edit)
Day 44: 5000 Day 54: 3600 Day 66: 1200 (edit) Day 76: 2500 (edit)
Day 45: 2600 Day 55: 3200 Day 67: 1000 (edit) Day 77: 2500 (edit)
Day 46: 3000 Day 56: 4000 Day 68: 3000 (edit) Day 78: 2000 (edit)
Day 47: 2800 Day 57: 1200 Day 69: 1000 (edit) Day 79: 2000 (edit)
Day 48: 2500 Day 58-60: 0 Day 70: 1000 (edit) Day 80: 4300 (edit)
Day 49: 1000 Day 61: 3500 Day 71: 1500 (edit) Day 81: 1000 (edit)
Day 50: 4600 Day 62: 3000 Day 72: 2500 (edit) Day 82: 2000 (edit)
Day 83: 1500
Blog Post: 480
***
What I’m Watching:
Thank you, Amazon, for finally putting up the last season of Justified. Makes me want to stay in the gym just that much longer.
***
What I’m Reading:
Finishing up the Hereford book. Might go back to Neufeld, but I’ve gotten out of that one what I need. I’m really only interested about a certain time period. Waiting on another book to come back to the library; have two books loaned to me to read and get back.
***
What I’m Listening to:
Nothing. The rain.
