In a previous incarnation, the husband worked with a Chinese scientist for quite a long time. That scientist’s take on “one step at a time” was “one step by one step,” which means the same–mostly–but which has, for whatever reason, entered into our lexicon as it revolves around my work. Sometimes, you really have to feel for the husband since I’m so impatient when it comes to this book.
THE DAY
After entertaining family, there was the holiday party last night. I can’t remember if I blogged about it or not and am too lazy to look. In a nutshell, I actually had a decent time. Spent most of it chatting with various folks and meeting the husband’s coworkers. There were also a fair number of people there I already knew, and one’s a singer like me. The institute for which the husband works got a small group of singers together, and they did three numbers, and not too badly either. Anyway, given that I’m DYING for a singing group, I’m thinking. . . well, why not? So another WI transplant and I went up and volunteered. Rehearsals start the first Thursday after New Year’s. Who knows how it will go? At least it’s a way of being with other people and not having to feel as if I’m always on-stage. (That is, I always feel this need to entertain people, no matter what. So I never relax much. I’m just not good at small talk either.)
Anyway, this morning I worked on the book but also did a number of cooking projects that I had lined up: made a braised nice red cabbage w/ apples that I’m letting sit overnight for the flavors to meld; chopped up green beans for steaming before they turned; did my Sunday’s cake (Spice with Brown Butter Vanilla Bean Glaze). It’s the first time I’ve ever gone the whole hog with a vanilla bean, and it really does seem to make a difference in the taste. I’ll be anxious to hear what the informatics folks think.
In between, I worked on the book. After getting things done with the cooking and baking (and planning for things that are going to be happening next week–*5* bloody events), I was in an okay mood. That went south when I looked at the book again and saw just how much work there is to do. In so many ways, I’ve so radically re-imagined this thing that it bears almost no resemblance to my original idea. So it’s hard for me not to look at it and wonder what the hell I’m doing.
That’s when I go and find the husband. As pissed as I am about this entire situation, he really is a decent, good person and does want to help. He has the infinite amount of patience I really need to have, which means that he is always ready to listen. Good to have him around.
Went swimming today, too. Hard to be in a bad mood after a good swim, although I do seem to find a way. Slowly crawling out of that funk this evening. Gathering myself together for next week: the work and then all the entertaining (or going to events).
I know I’ll be okay. I know that, eventually, I will find the end of this book. In the scheme of things, I’ve been working on it for not very long. But I also have found that I need to stay away from things like Facebook because there are other writers–other friends–who are doing well and talking about it, and I can feel myself getting down on myself and my abilities: as if I’ve never written a cogent word in my life.
GHOST IN THE MACHINE*
Day 1: 4326 Day 11: 2500
Day 2: 2085 Day 12: 500
Day 3: 3011 Day 13: 1000
Day 4: 2652
Day 5: 3210
Day 6: 3450
Day 7: 0
Day 8: 2756
Day 9: 4580
Day 10: 2670
*Decided to start rounding and stop being so anal.*
Blog Post: 744
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What I’m Watching:
Nothing today except football. For once, the Packers won when I watched. I will also say, though, that unless they get a consistent running game today (as they did today) and work on their rushing defense, they won’t go far. Of course, I hope I’m wrong.
***
What I’m Reading:
The Astronaut Wives Club by Lily Koppel. The series went for feel-good (and succeeded). The reality’s a little sadder but no less interesting.
OKAY–tomorrow is another bloody day! A new week, a new start, more words to generate, chapters to pound out.
One step by one step.
