This morning, I woke a little later than usual but feeling pretty rested, ready to tackle the book. But I also woke up thinking about the book, which is–as I’ve said–good and bad. In this case, it’s . . . good. But it means more work and more thought, and a continuation of what I’d talked about yesterday: the moment you have second thoughts about what you’re doing.
THE DAY
Before I did anything, I took a breath, sat down, pulled out my Surface, and started writing myself a long note about what I was doing, what I thought needed to change, who need to be added to the book and–important now–how I was going to order all this. Before, I hadn’t been too worried, figuring I’d stitch this altogether at some later point, but now, and especially in light of introducing new characters, I thought I’d better understand why before I totally mucked things up. Sometimes the kitchen sink approach isn’t helpful.
This was also one of those days where I added words but killed a lot, too.
So, after about a thousand words, I finally sat down to work and began at the beginning, doing all the trimming and rearranging and rewriting that I know the book needs. Worked for about 5 hours on the book–baked bread in-between–and also dealt with the landscapers today, as well as bids on the deck. Then my 90 minutes of aerobics; then home and dinner. I’ll read after this, but I also have to get cracking on the online workshop I’m doing, too.
WRITING OUT LOUD
GHOST IN THE MACHINE
Day 1: 4326 Day 11: 2500
Day 2: 2085
Day 3: 3011
Day 4: 2652
Day 5: 3210
Day 6: 3450
Day 7: 0
Day 8: 2756
Day 9: 4580
Day 10: 2670
Blog Post:
Thoughts on the day and second thoughts: you know, I’m not going to try to analyze this too much or beat myself up because I’m redoing/redrafting/looping back/slotting in. . . whatever. The book is what it is. The husband says that I need to let go of my feelings of being such a failure for not having produced a finished book in the last year and a half . . . gosh, before you know it, it’ll be two years. He says I have to give up the hope of a better past (and that’s the line I’ve always used with patients, so at least he’s been paying attention).
A pro friend of mine once said that writers make themselves crazy putting too much value into a book. Don’t get me wrong; he’s not saying that a writer shouldn’t care. But you can’t make a single book so important, such an event, that your sense of self-worth as a writer . . . hell, as a human being . . . rests on whether the book succeeds or not. What he cares about the most is that you finish the book, and then move on.
So … I’m working on it.
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What I’m Watching:
Still sticking with The Astronaut Wives Club. Fun stuff. Afterward . . . I don’t know. I’ve downloaded an episode of The Knick; I’ve still got Penny Dreadful and, of course, I have to decide if I truly want to slog through Man in the High Castle or spring for something like Fargo or the third season of The Americans.
***
What I’m Reading:
Started Lily Koppel’s The Astronaut Wives Club; pretty good so far, though I do find it fascinating to see the differences between the show and the book. Lines I know from the series show up in odd places (like a line from the seventh episode is actually in the very first chapter, which feels weird). But it’s also interesting to see just how someone might adapt a book for a screenplay. There is, I am sure, a whole art to this about which I know nothing. Be kind of cool to learn, though I have zero idea what I’d do with such a skill even if I developed it. Hell, I have a hard enough time writing a book.
And just a head’s up for myself: tomorrow’s going to be a rough day. Husband’s brother and wife will be coming down for a visit, which guarantees that I won’t get much done :<P
